My Name is Asher Lev Journal Entry #4

In chapter two, Asher's world became a very hard and confusing one, something that was caused by his parents virtually ignoring him and yelling at him arbitrarily. Now, in chapter four, although it seems as if his mother has ceased to lash out at him and is beginning to spend more time with him, the overall abuse that is being pushed on Asher is beginning to intensify.

His confusion is starting to grow even more about what is happening in the world and about what his role is in the world. And these questions have been brought about with his rediscovery (although it was always there and he just now began to do it again) of his drawing talent. What this has brought about is not only ridicule from his teachers and classmates because he has been writing on his religious books, but it has also caused his father to be ashamed of him, something that he is not shy in communicating. When Aryeh finds out that his son is once again drawing, he says, "don't be disrespectful to me, Asher. You can't study Chumash, but this you have time for." Aryeh sees drawing as an unnecessary distraction caused by the "sitra achra" (the other side) and so he is confused as to why the son of such a respected man in the Jewish community (himself) is caught up in such a "childish" thing. He feels embarrassed that his son has a drawing talent, and by letting Asher know it, he is not doing Asher any bit of good. By expressing his disapproval, he is hurting his son because Asher is not trying to shame his father but is merely doing something that he likes and something that he often times can not control.

And now that Aryeh will be going off to Vienna to continue the Rebbe's work on a larger scale, instead of having a father who pays minimal attention to him, Asher will perhaps have it even worse as now he will have no father whatsoever. His mother has already proven that she is a far cry from a good mother (and she herself also recognizes this) and so it does not look as if Asher's situation will get any better. He will only continue to draw, perhaps in rebellion or perhaps just for the joy of it, and he will continue to be distracted from his school work and faith. Everything around Asher is crumbling and he is going to have to figure out for himself how to mend it.

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